Washington's Wake

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE*

WASHINGTON – U.S. Sen. Foghorn J. Leghorn, D-State, announced Tuesday that he had won an extra $14.7 million in stimulating funds from the solicitous Obama Administration for the people of seven congressional districts in Texas.

“This funding will go for good,” the Senator said. “Why, son, 98 hardworking, taxpaying, aging, poor, honest, hungry, working-class, middle-class, undereducated, disadvantaged, undercounted, overlooked, underprivileged, overtaxed and uninsured constituents of my good friends and esteemed colleagues in the 52nd, 58th, 86th, 00th, 68th, 91st, and 85th Congressional Districts of Texas deserve every penny,” he added. “Yep, they can shore count on me. Vote Leghorn! Yee, haw!”

Following is an official, premeditated account* of the stimulating funds provided by the Obama Administration through Sen. Leghorn’s good offices:

Texas Congressional District Jobs Amount

52nd congressional district 0 $8,937,289
58th congressional district 45 $3,659,694
86th congressional district 6 $943,326
00 congressional district 11 $752,292
68th congressional district 1 $310,963
91st congressional district 30 $57,367
85th congressional district 5 $56,661

Stimulus Total: $14,717,592

Jobs Total: 98

*Please don’t call Sen. Leghorn’s office about this. He’s busy working on health care today. For further information on this gracious investment of job-creating government money, please “track the money” through the President’s Recovery website,

http://www.recovery.gov/Pages/TextView.aspx?data=stateSummaryAllCD&statecode=TX

h/t Moe Lane

This would be truly funny if it were not for the stories of the imaginary congressional districts receiving millions of dollars and saving thousands of jobs.

Oh look, in my state NH, the 27th congressional district received $124,774 in taxpayer money and “saved” 2 jobs. Of course they did a lot better than the 4th congressional district which received $1,033,809 and “saved” zero jobs. Granted my state only has TWO congressional districts so I’m not sure where my money went and the people receiving the payoffs aren’t saying either.

The incompetence is so strong that you can’t escape the stench of it. Disgusting.